Medical Journey of the Crappy Kind

The fresh and new gorillaeatspopsicle doctor entered my waiting room and with a personable hand shake we began our healing dance together; or so I had hoped. We talked for 45 minutes. It was tentatively all right, but then came the whammy. I said that I would like to change NDT brands from Armour to something else because I had heard that Armour desiccated thyroid had become unreliable. Well, she jumped on that like a dog on a bone. I knew that all was lost.

She promised to send me to Eugene, to the “best endocrinologist around.” I cringed. That means more of the same.

  • TSH test is normal
  • T4 Levothyroxine
  • You are fine, nothing wrong with you
  • Go to your psychiatrist
  • You have an undiagnosable fantom disease
  • You are Fibromyalgic and we can’t treat that
  • How about Gabapentin?
  • How about some Oxy?
  • Tylenol-4000 mg per day is all right

My fresh, new Womun doctor does not listen so well. I told her about the 4 Nodules growing on the remaining side of my thyroid, all documented by Dr. Shimo with biopsies and sonar scans and she said, “Ah yes, a goiter.” Read something, for Goddess’ sake! The Nodules grow ON the gland and are potential carcinogenic. Goiter IS THE GLAND and is not cancerous.

I knew that training a new doctor would be challenging when I left Tucson. I had my Tucson dude trained to dance like a master. He twirled me around like I was a tiny dancer. We harmonized too, in unison. Except for the thyroid. I could not convince him to abandon the Doctrine of Thyroid. Ha, ha; I said “doc-trine”! So I journeyed to the upper west coast to enjoy beautiful country in hopes of finding a Naturopath. Interestingly, the Oregon Health Plan booklet clearly states that I can have a Naturopath for my Primary Care doctor, but the lady on the other end of the phone almost shouted that WE DO NOT COVER THAT!

As it stands, I am my own Naturopath. I have Armour from the last Nurse Practitioner and more can be had online. I will get some. I will be my own Naturopath. Who better than me? I know how I feel.

Evidently, the docs don’t like NDT (Natural Dessicated Thyroid) because it has a short half life and they just can’t keep track. The best option is possibly combination therapy.

  • 50 mg Levothyroxine in AM
  • 30 mg NDT AM
  • 30 mg NDT PM

Levo has a long half life. I have read it from 2.5 days to 2 weeks. NDT has from 4-12 hours. That is a big gap. It must be different for each individual. Oh gee, we are all a bit different? What a surprise! We live in different environments. We have different genetics. Pardon my sarcasm, but don’t. I am sick of this shit! And one more thing; why are they still bleeping that word? SHIT!

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