Medical Journey of the Crappy Kind

The fresh and new gorillaeatspopsicle doctor entered my waiting room and with a personable hand shake we began our healing dance together; or so I had hoped. We talked for 45 minutes. It was tentatively all right, but then came the whammy. I said that I would like to change NDT brands from Armour to something else because I had heard that Armour desiccated thyroid had become unreliable. Well, she jumped on that like a dog on a bone. I knew that all was lost.

She promised to send me to Eugene, to the “best endocrinologist around.” I cringed. That means more of the same.

  • TSH test is normal
  • T4 Levothyroxine
  • You are fine, nothing wrong with you
  • Go to your psychiatrist
  • You have an undiagnosable fantom disease
  • You are Fibromyalgic and we can’t treat that
  • How about Gabapentin?
  • How about some Oxy?
  • Tylenol-4000 mg per day is all right

My fresh, new Womun doctor does not listen so well. I told her about the 4 Nodules growing on the remaining side of my thyroid, all documented by Dr. Shimo with biopsies and sonar scans and she said, “Ah yes, a goiter.” Read something, for Goddess’ sake! The Nodules grow ON the gland and are potential carcinogenic. Goiter IS THE GLAND and is not cancerous.

I knew that training a new doctor would be challenging when I left Tucson. I had my Tucson dude trained to dance like a master. He twirled me around like I was a tiny dancer. We harmonized too, in unison. Except for the thyroid. I could not convince him to abandon the Doctrine of Thyroid. Ha, ha; I said “doc-trine”! So I journeyed to the upper west coast to enjoy beautiful country in hopes of finding a Naturopath. Interestingly, the Oregon Health Plan booklet clearly states that I can have a Naturopath for my Primary Care doctor, but the lady on the other end of the phone almost shouted that WE DO NOT COVER THAT!

As it stands, I am my own Naturopath. I have Armour from the last Nurse Practitioner and more can be had online. I will get some. I will be my own Naturopath. Who better than me? I know how I feel.

Evidently, the docs don’t like NDT (Natural Dessicated Thyroid) because it has a short half life and they just can’t keep track. The best option is possibly combination therapy.

  • 50 mg Levothyroxine in AM
  • 30 mg NDT AM
  • 30 mg NDT PM

Levo has a long half life. I have read it from 2.5 days to 2 weeks. NDT has from 4-12 hours. That is a big gap. It must be different for each individual. Oh gee, we are all a bit different? What a surprise! We live in different environments. We have different genetics. Pardon my sarcasm, but don’t. I am sick of this shit! And one more thing; why are they still bleeping that word? SHIT!

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Iatrogenic Disorder

Yesterday the womun dentist pulled two side teeth. Last Night. I ran out of Lithium and and did not sleep a wink.. Not one stinkin’ wink until about 5 AM. Do you see the problem? Two factors in one!

  1. Allergic to Acetaminophen
  2. Lithium makes me sleepy

Anyway, I did not stand a chance. At least I know the story. The story of me. I have spent my entire life figuring me out and am proud to say, I know me fairly well. It feels good. Screw ups still happen and now I know why. Sometimes I gamble and lose and sometimes, like last night I block out the truth in hopes it will not catch up to me. At 3AM I suddenly got in touch with my symptoms and “remembered” that I must not take that stuff. I took a small dose thinking a bit of pain relief would be nice,  and two days later, I am still buzzed. Back in  the day when the pill doctor told me I could take up to 4K a day without liver damage, I was using 1K per day. Pain is the mind killer (Dune). It wasn’t long until I lay awake all night with restless leg syndrome! This is a horrible problem. All night the victims stretches her legs over and over for relief from a fleeting and remitting tightening. The she rolls over and tries another position, but there is no relief, no rest and no relief. Stretching and shifting every ten seconds is an awful way to spend the night. Did I mention “no relief?” Involuntarily stretching, all night.

Yes, my Brilliant Ones, Restless Leg Syndrome is an allergic reaction to pharmaceuticals. It is an Iatrogenic disease! (doctor caused). Today I can’t turn my head without hearing bells ring. That’s what I get from 400mg of Tylenol. Can you imagine what it does to a baby? People give that shit to children all the time.

“The doctor said it is safe.”